I really just need to get my shit together.
This phrase is something that has appeared in many a journal entry, and I’ve said it out loud repeatedly over, well, my entire adulthood.
It’s been said to (or about) me quite a few times, too.
And of course I’ve tried, time and time again to get my shit together.
And I’ve failed, time and time again.
What I’ve come to realize over the past year is that this is completely normal for those of us with ADHD. Doubly so if we’re dealing with other chronic mental or physical health issues.
At the center of the issue lies one core flaw: our definition of having our shit together is based on how neuro-typical people operate.
It’s the classic problem of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
Once we recognize that, we’re faced with yet another problem:
Society tells us that we have to shave off our corners to fit in the hole. That it’s how the world works and we need to do whatever it takes to fit in.
But I’m calling bullshit on that.
Instead, we need to accept that we don’t fit there and build ourselves some custom holes to fit into.
So, as an ADHD Entrepreneur, how do we get our shit together?
Let go of neuro-typical expectations.
We have to accept that the normal productivity expectations and methods aren’t going to work for us like they do for everyone else.
How many times have you picked up a planner or tried a productivity method that “everyone just swears by” and then hated every second of it?
I always came away feeling like it was a problem with me. That I just didn’t get it, or I just wasn’t disciplined enough to stick with it.
Now, I know better. Now I know that I’m wired differently
So, let go of those expectations. Give yourself the freedom to create something that works for you and how your brain is wired rather than trying to restructure your brain to fit into everyone else’s systems.
Identify your (actual, specific) gaps.
The real key to finding or creating systems that actually work for you is identifying your gaps.
“I’m not disciplined” is not a gap. Neither is “I’m unmotivated.”
Gaps need to be specific and honest. And at first they can be hard to identify because they’ve been buried beneath the unkind things we’ve been telling ourselves (or soaking in from others) as we tried to fit into the world’s neuro-typical expectations.
One of my gaps is struggling to remember sequences. I can’t just say “my memory sucks” because that isn’t quite true. Some things stick in my brain really well. But when it comes to remembering the steps to do something, that is a gap in the way my brain is wired. I either completely forget steps and skip them, or I can’t remember where I was in the sequence.
“My memory sucks” doesn’t lend itself to solutions. But “I can’t remember if I washed my hair or not” is something that we can create a system to remedy.
“I’m easily distracted” isn’t helpful. But “I can’t focus when there are competing noises in the background” is something we can find a solution for.
Accept that systems give you freedom.
For many of us, the idea of systems is synonymous with feeling like we are beating our heads against a brick wall.
Or trying to cram ourselves into a box that’s much too small.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
All we have to do is create our own systems rather than trying to use the rigid ones that are promoted by neuro-typical people.
The truth is, systems come in all shapes, sizes and levels of flexibility.
And when we implement the right ones for our brains, they can be incredibly freeing.
Why? Because they fill our gaps.
And filling those gaps allows our brains to rest a bit.
When we have a system in place to help us remember a sequence, or reduce our distractions, it’s one less thing we have to worry about.
With every little system we put in place, every gap we narrow, we get closer to the feeling of having our shit together.
Give systems time and commit to tweaking them rather than giving up completely.
Not every system you put into place is going to work perfectly right away.
Instead of tossing it, take a look at what part of the system isn’t working for you. Why isn’t it working the way you wanted?
More often than not, the solution is a simple tweak rather than a whole new system.
If a planner isn’t working for you, is it really the planner itself, or is it the time of day you’re trying to use it, or maybe where you’re storing it?
If an app isn’t working for you, is it the actual app that’s the issue or is it how you access it? Can you create a shortcut or move where it is on your device?
When I committed to using systems for 30 days before swapping them out, I discovered all sorts of things about myself and how I work. More importantly, I discovered that more often than not, it’s a change of habit or placement that needs to occur rather than buying a whole new planner, app, set of baskets, etc.
It’s a little like the real estate shows where the couple is looking for a new house and then they come back and see their current space updated and staged and realize that’s all they really needed.
When it comes down to it, tweaking systems to make them work for you requires a lot less time, energy, and money than constantly looking for new systems and moving to them.
Seek out accountability.
Another holdover from clinging to neuro-typical expectations is that we harbor this belief that having our shit together means doing it all on our own.
Again, I’m calling bullshit.
While we’re here, let’s go ahead and admit that the whole “set deadlines for yourself” thing doesn’t work for everyone. I see that promoted as a self-accountability tactic and I used to feel terrible that it didn’t work for me and it created a belief that I carried about not being disciplined enough.
Instead I began seeking accountability in formats that actually worked for me.
First, I hired an assistant. Being an entrepreneur can be really lonely, and when there’s no one with a peek inside, it’s really easy to just let things slide. Always telling yourself you’ll get to them later.
Having an assistant and delegating tasks built in timelines for me. She can’t do her job unless I’m doing mine. It also forced me to set up some systems and leave them alone…it’s a lot harder to justify tossing everything and starting over when there are other people involved.
Second, I joined a virtual coworking group. We meet for three hours once a week and work in pomodoro sessions. Saying what I’m working on out loud and knowing that everyone else is working, too, was surprisingly helpful.
Turns out that body-doubling is a technique that often helps people with ADHD and this is a method that allows me to achieve that virtually.
In fact, this helped me so much that I started hosting my own virtual coworking for ADHD entrepreneurs. (Click here to sign up for that…it’s free!)
Getting your shit together will always be a moving target. And we’ll always have days where we feel like we’re doing better or worse than others.
It is what it is.
For me, the goal is always about improving the baseline.
I recognized that I’m never going to be as put together as someone without ADHD. Instead I’ve narrowed down what’s important to me, identified gaps, and put systems into place to help me narrow those gaps.
The more systems I get successfully into place, the more I can relax and enjoy the fun parts of my alternatively-wired brain.
I love productivity–but in a peculiar way. I love exploring productivity techniques and learning more about why we work the way we do. But there is a large chunk of productivity culture that makes my blood boil.
If you took a look down my daily digest emails from Medium, you would see a list of stories with titles like this:
- 7 things productive people do before 8am
- 3 ways to write articles fasters
- How [insert random thing here] changed my life
- The 5-step method I used to make 6-figures
- How to get more done every day
- 6 things you should stop doing right now to be more productive
I love reading articles like this, but there’s a trick to it: you have to remember that no single piece is going to hold the magic wand that will help you get your shit together.
And this is really where I start getting annoyed.
Most productivity articles claim that if you follow their steps, it will work for you, too. And that if it doesn’t, it’s because you’re lazy or you didn’t try hard enough.
Well, guess what? Young, white, abled men write most productivity advice. So guess who it’s going to work best for?
While I could pick apart a lot of productivity advice I’ve seen over the years, I’m sharing three today that I find to be toxic and wish would just disappear from the productivity landscape.
Are you ready? Let’s go!
Let’s start with the most obvious one. If you’ve followed my work for very long, you’ve probably heard me get up on my soapbox about this one.
I can’t stand it, and it’s pervasive not just in productivity culture but also in personal finance.
There’s this idea that you should be willing to sacrifice a few years of your life to cushion the rest of it.
And I just can’t get behind that anymore. I speak from personal experience on this one.
Hustle culture quickly leads to burnout, poor health, and damaged relationships.
It comes down to the fact that time is not a renewable resource and other things are more important than money.
And the most toxic part of it all is the assumption that when you reach your “goal,” you can just shut the hustle culture off.
That once you reach six or seven figures, you can just relax on the beach with a cocktail, and the hustling is all over.
Instead of participating in hustle culture, I’m all about sustainable productivity. And that’s not to be confused with slow growth. You can grow quickly and sustainably.
It’s a commitment to prioritizing all of the essential parts of your life. I won’t feed you some myth about balance–you’ll never really be able to show up equally in every aspect of your life at once. But you can grow a business, spend time with your family, and take care of yourself.
Yes, there’s power in having a singular, laser-like focus on your business goals, but it drains your life of everything else.
I’ll take a joyful life and a thriving business, thank you very much.
The 5am Club
First, let me preface this by saying I am a total morning person. I love the peaceful quiet of 5am. From 5am-8am, my brain is like a well-oiled machine that pumps out amazing ideas and can focus.
But I hate the “5am Club” culture–this belief that to be successful, you have to wake up early, and if you’re not willing to do so, you must be exceedingly lazy or not care about your goals.
Sure, the early bird may get the worm, but that night owl is getting some pretty tasty treats of his own.
I could go on for ages about why I disagree with this advice and find it toxic, but the big reason is that it fails to consider individual needs.
We’re all wired differently and have a different set of circumstances.
Women, in particular, are hurt by this toxic advice. Unlike men, our energy cycles do not work on a 24-hour rotation. Even if we default to being a morning person, there are simply times when it’s not feasible or healthy.
Get enough sleep and work when it feels good. Accept that even if you are a morning person, you won’t always see 5am and that what feels good one week might not the next.
Give yourself some grace and accept that “one size fits all” productivity advice probably won’t fit you unless you’re a young, white, abled male.
This is possibly the most toxic of all of the productivity advice because it comes implied in every word of it:
If a technique or strategy isn’t working for you, it’s because you’re not trying hard enough.
Beneath every piece written on productivity advice is the assumption that it will work for you if you have enough discipline and want it bad enough.
It’s the most toxic and ablist piece of productivity culture. And it bit me in the ass for years.
There are plenty of other reasons something isn’t working and “trying harder” or beating yourself up over your perceived lack of discipline doesn’t fix it.
This is especially true if you are neuro-diverse, have health conditions, or have many other obligations (like kids).
View every piece of productivity advice through the lens of your own life and needs. There is no such thing as the perfect productivity routine that will work for anyone.
Save yourself a ton of energy and heartache by understanding that from the beginning and working to understand what rhythms work best for you during this season of your life.
And then combine giving yourself grace and understanding with seeking out and asking for the type of help you truly need.
Instead of beating yourself up for not having self-discipline, consider arranging the accountability you need to get things done.
You’ll find productivity peace when you stop trying to cram yourself into other people’s boxes–especially since most of those boxes were built with privilege.
Looking for Accountability?
The doors to Productive Shift, my 5-week accountability program for creative entrepreneurs are open until September 18th (or spots fill up, whichever comes first). Click here to learn more.
If you do a quick google search for “how to get started with Notion,” you’ll be greeted by a plethora of how-to articles detailing the platform’s features.
They’ll tell you about the different block types and how to create pages and format everything.
And nearly all of them will compare the platform to building with LEGO. (I don’t fault them for this at all…it’s apt.)
But they are all lacking one critical component: how to actually use the platform.
So while these articles seem helpful, they’re just adding to the overwhelm that probably sent you scrambling for a new platform to begin with.
Sure, now you know what it can do, but how do you make it work for you?
Today I’m sharing the tips, tricks, and secrets that I wish someone had told me when I first encountered this marvelous platform.
Start with an Inbox
At its most basic level, Notion’s job is to house information that you collect throughout the day: ideas, thoughts, tasks, resources, research…anything. And the biggest way we overcomplicate that is by having a million places we could put it.
Most of us started experiencing this issue when we had a million different apps. Now we have Notion, with a million different pages and templates.
It’s still too complicated.
I’m repeatedly asked, “will I be able to stick to this system?” The answer is that it all depends on you. If you overcomplicate it, no, you won’t stick to it. And I think we sometimes do that just to sabotage ourselves.
So, I encourage you to create an Inbox page, whether you have three pages or thirty in your Notion account.
A blank page, titled Inbox, nothing in it. And be sure to mark it as a favorite and keep it at the top of your navigation pane.
All of the information you collect goes straight here. You’re not wasting time trying to decide where to put it or getting distracted by anything else in your account. You’re recording it in the Inbox and getting back to what you were doing.
Make Notion Part of Your Routine
The inbox works exceedingly well when we make two things a habit:
- Gathering every piece of information in that one place.
- Making time to review the information we’ve gathered.
Make adding things to your Notion inbox as easy as possible.
Make sure you have the app downloaded and in an easily accessible spot on your home screen on your phone. Also, check that it’s enabled in your share settings so that you can easily send information to it from other apps.
On your computer, download the app and again, make it easily accessible. I also highly recommend adding the web clipper to your browser extensions.
The key to building a habit of using it consistently is to make it as easy as possible. And then to make alternatives more difficult.
Go ahead and remove or hide other competing apps so you aren’t tempted to use them instead. Evernote and Google Keep were banished to a folder on my phone, and I removed the Evernote and Keep web clippers from my browser.
Your brain shouldn’t need to think about where information goes. Let that thumb reach for the Notion app become muscle memory.
Make time to review and process what you’ve gathered in your Notion inbox.
Information gathered is excellent. Information processed is better. Information used is the goal.
Once you’ve built the habit of gathering the information, you have to develop the habit of reviewing and processing it.
For me, this is the time every day where I sit down and look at what was added to my Inbox and process it.
Tasks I already completed get deleted. Events/dates get added to my calendar. Everything else gets moved to it’s home within Notion or stays on the page.
It’s truly okay if some things don’t have a home and just stay there for now. It’s actually better to leave oddball pieces of information to linger there rather than create a home for them just because.
Don’t try to build out a complicated Notion eco-system all at once.
Speaking of creating homes for your information, please don’t try to do it all at once.
I actually think this is why most people give up on Notion (or any system, really). They see all of the things it CAN do, and jump right into the deep end with a million templates and pages.
None of it works quite right, and it’s confusing and complicated. And then you’re off to hunt for something better.
So, I implore you to start small. Once you have your inbox, start looking at the type of information you’re collecting and see where themes pop up. Or pick your biggest daily pain point and start there.
If you find your inbox is full of recipe links and things to add to the grocery list, then it sounds like a meal planning setup might be useful for you.
If your biggest daily pain point is staying on top of client project statuses, how about starting with a client project database to visualize your workload?
By starting with two or three areas where you’re collecting various data and learning how to use Notion to make them work together to make your life easier, you’ll be able to get in a groove with the platform and then add things as they make sense.
Use databases to organize information and then pages to display and use related information together.
One of the downfalls of creating a ton of layouts all at once is that you don’t have a chance to see how different collections of information might work together.
Using meal planning as an example: You might build out a grocery list, recipe gallery, pantry inventory, and meal planner and then display specific views of them together to make meal planning a breeze. But you might also display the meal planner on your family hub page, too.
As you review the information you collect in your inbox, you will discover themes and trends, enabling you to build databases that strategically organize related information.
But the real magic happens when you connect the dots between the different types of information you’ve gathered and create an ecosystem that combines them into truly usable tools.
When you link together your thoughts/ideas/quotes database with your content creation database and can actually search for and use that idea you had six months ago, you realize everything clicks.
Instead of gathering information and leaving it to wither and collect dust, you’re building a system that empowers you to use that information, bringing everything full circle.
It’s all fun and games to play with a new platform and discover the millions of things it can do.
But when that initial burst of excitement wears off, you’re left with a complicated, unusable platform, and you’re right back where you started.
Start small, create a routine, and take the time to build out your own personalized system. I promise it’s more satisfying and productive.
Want to get the most out of notion? Check out my Reliable External Brain Blueprint. It’s a full training on creating your own Reliable External Brain using Notion and includes a plethora of templates and tech tutorials to help you get started without getting overwhelmed.
Whenever I meet with a client for the first time, we always start by discussing where they are in their life and their business. And every discussion features one of two words: overwhelmed or scattered. More often than not, both words make an appearance.
Overwhelmed and scattered come up in almost every email, DM, and social media comment I receive. They represent the status quo for digital female entrepreneurs.
And every time I see or hear those words, I’m filled with sincere empathy.
I’ve been there.
But I’m also filled with hope because while I know we can never banish those feelings completely, I know that we are not powerless against them.
We have access to tools and the ability to create systems that can help us banish feeling scattered.
And ultimately, as tough as this is to hear, feeling overwhelmed is a choice. We can choose to wallow in self-pity at the unfairness of our circumstances or choose to take action and change the result of those circumstances.
It’s up to you to create a new reality where you don’t always feel scattered and overwhelmed. And a simple solution to getting started is to create a digital headquarters for your life and business.
Eradicate Feeling Scattered by Creating a Digital Headquarters for Your Life
At this point, we’ve all adopted a vast network of tools and apps that we use daily in an attempt to make our lives easier. We have apps for our calendars and apps for our grocery lists. We have notebooks for ideas and folders for research. Our systems are as varied as the information we gather.
But none of this helps us feel less scattered. Often it further compounds the feeling.
This is because we replaced remembering the individual pieces of information with remembering where we stored it.
It’s the constant feeling of “If I put this here, it’s safe, and I’ll remember it” — which becomes a mystery location when we actually need whatever the thing was. It’s frustrating enough when we do it with a physical item with limited hiding places. It’s downright maddening when we do this with something intangible like an idea.
A digital headquarters eradicates the problem because it gives every piece of information a home. We no longer have to waste time and energy remembering which app or notebook or tool we chose to house the information. We simply open up our digital headquarters and search for it.
With a digital headquarters, our thoughts, ideas, notes, and plans are no longer scattered about, and neither are we.
Increase Mental Bandwidth by Offloading Information to a Digital Headquarters
Committing your thoughts, ideas, and plans to a digital headquarters allows your brain to close a loop. It’s the biological equivalent of closing out programs on your computer to make the one you’re working in run faster.
When our brains are preoccupied with remembering a piece of information (or remembering which tool we offloaded it to), it eats up precious mental bandwidth and fractures our focus.
A digital headquarters allows our brains to rest, knowing that the information is safely tucked away in an easily accessible location that we won’t forget. It can now put that energy into other, more fulfilling processes, like actually using information that we’ve collected.
Not only can reallocating that mental bandwidth help improve our focus and be more productive, but it can also increase our creativity and even rest more effectively.
By reducing the constant mental load, we make it easier to be present in the moment, no matter what we’re doing.
Improve Task Delegation by Sharing Your Digital Headquarters
Often we feel like if we could just ask for help, we could get out from beneath the mountain of overwhelm.
But asking for help and delegating tasks comes with its own increased mental load. So we default back to feeling like it’s just easier and less stressful if we just do it all ourselves.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Creating and using a digital headquarters reduces the friction involved with delegating tasks.
Instead of spending more time and energy trying to get the related details out of your head and into a format you can share with someone else, you can simply share that piece of your digital headquarters with them.
This is a big reason I recommend using a digital headquarters versus creating an analog system.
By creating a habit of adding information to our digital headquarters, we can easily delegate tasks to our household members, assistants, and colleagues without reinventing the wheel every time.
Feeling overwhelmed and scattered doesn’t have to be your reality. Creating a digital headquarters for your life and business can significantly reduce the friction in your everyday life, helping you feel less scattered and freeing up precious mental bandwidth for more fulfilling activities.
Notion is the glue that holds my ADHD-self together.
I never used to be so fanatical about specific apps. I was more of a “whatever gets the job done” kind of gal.
But over the past year, as I’ve learned to work /with/ my brain rather than try to force it into boxes I thought /should/ work, I’ve gotten attached to specific tools that really help me thrive.
One of them, Amazing Marvin, was the catalyst for learning about my brain and trying to work with it. Hands down, it’s the most ADHD-friendly task manager I’ve ever seen. If you’re curious, I wrote about my love for Amazing Marvin here.
But there’s another very important piece to a true personal productivity system. Honestly, a task manager is a very small piece of that puzzle.
I feel like it’s really important for me to stop and define what I mean when I say “personal productivity system.”
It sounds like I mean “let’s get stuff done and be as productive as possible ALL. THE. TIME.” And that is how I used to look at it. My brain never really slows down or shuts off. (And thanks to a recent ADHD diagnosis, I now know why.)
What I really mean is a system that you can rely on to live your best life. Under my definition, productivity encompasses rest, relaxation, enjoyment, hobbies, adventure, curiosity — everything that makes you feel like you are living your life the way you want to live it.
Unfortunately, many of us enter adulthood thinking that we shouldn’t need to rely on any systems. That we should just magically “adult” with the help of nothing more than a basic to-do list and a calendar.
And then, when we need realize that’s not working, we beat ourselves up for failing to be a normal, operational “adult.” We resent systems we need (like that phone reminder to brush our teeth) and even refuse to use them, lest those around us think we’re completely unfit to live on our own or have families and careers.
So I’m here today to share something very important with you:
You deserve to use, rely on, and live by whatever systems make you feel whole and functional.
Got that? Okay, good.
So let’s discuss a huge problem with our current systems. We’ve hodge-dodged them together as any piece became a necessity, and we’ve typically resentment their use, so we go with the quickest, prettiest way to do a thing.
That means we have a bajillion over-complicated apps, plus scraps of paper, and 15 planners that didn’t work.
When our systems are fractured, our focus is fractured.
When we’ve built our systems up piecemeal, they are likely doing more harm than good.
You see, the pieces of our lives don’t exist in a vacuum. Managing them in separate systems only makes them harder.
Taking time to curate my systems into a single platform helped me learn to make connections between areas of my life that I’d never seen before, which smoothed my life out considerably.
The Elements of a Functional Personal Productivity System
Our lives revolve around information, and in the long run, there are three things we do with every tiny piece of information that enters our brain:
- We gather it.
- We organize it.
- We wield it.
And we do this with the simplest information, like “I like the taste of bananas.” We do it on such a subconscious level that we don’t even recognize we’re doing it.
We recognize the taste and feeling of enjoyment, and then our brain files it away for later, connecting it with the scent and visual recognition of the piece of fruit. Then later, when we’re standing it front of the freezer case at Target, we wield that information by reaching in and grabbing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey.
Our brains are pretty fantastic at automating this process for simple pieces of information that trigger a strong emotional response (love, joy, fear, disgust). It also helps if there are repetitive sensory pieces to rely on (a smell, a touch, a taste, a visual or auditory cue).
But what about the rest of the information that we encounter on a daily basis that is more complicated, less tangible, or not obviously related to one another?
Some people have an easy time with these things, but I’d say they’re a rarity. Think Sheldon Cooper, from Big Bang Theory. Some brains are simply wired for remembering more and easily making connections between seemingly unrelated pieces of information.
The vast majority of us, though, need a little help. And some of us, well, we need more than a little help.
That’s where personal productivity systems come in. And when we’re using a million different apps and random scraps of paper, we’re still relying on our brain to remember where it all is and connect the dots.
The Reliable External Brain
Once I realized all of this, and accepted that I /deserved/ to be able to rely on whatever systems I needed, I began creating what I now refer to as my Reliable External Brain.
It’s a single system that supplements my not-so-reliable internal brain when it comes to managing all of the information that I’m flooded with each day.
I use Notion to house my Reliable External Brain because it’s ridiculously flexible, and as my needs change, it can flex and change with me.
It serves as a single place to gather information that I don’t trust my internal brain to keep track of. Whether it’s a link, a file, a random note, an image, just about anything, it can go straight into my Inbox page in Notion. I don’t have to be picky about the format or worry about it going in the right place.
Once information is gathered, it’s easy for me to go back and organize at (semi-) regular intervals. Everything in my life has a home within Notion, and as a new area appears in my life, it’s easy to add a home for it. Again, the flexibility of format is a lifesaver.
But the real magic happens when it’s time to wield that information. Information gathered and organized, never to be used is useless. And this is where nearly all of my past systems have fallen flat.
To properly wield the information we’ve gathered, we have to be able to find it again make connections between other pieces of information.
A quote I highlighted in an ebook a year ago does me no good sitting in my Kindle highlights. At this point, I probably won’t remember I read the book, let alone highlighted something, or remember to even look at my Kindle highlights. But in my Life Notes section of Notion, I can easily locate it when it’s time for me to sit down and write a post on a related topic.
Gathering information in the same place you’ll eventually use it, and organizing it in a way that’s easily searchable allows you to make those connections effortlessly.
The type of information you gather, the level of detail you organize it with, and how you set yourself up to use it will be specific to you and your life.
The relief you’ll feel when you don’t have to wonder which app something’s in or whether or not your best idea is buried in a coffee-stained notebook somewhere, well, that’s pretty much guaranteed.
If a Reliable External Brain sounds like something you need in your life, but you’re not sure where to start, I invite you to join me for my next live Blueprint session. I’ll be sharing how I used Notion to create my Reliable External Brain and I’ll be sharing all of my templates to help you get started without reinventing the wheel. Click here to learn more.
By definition, anxiety is apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness, usually over an impending or anticipated ill.
Anxiety is essentially the fear of unmet expectations. We are afraid we won’t meet an expectation, and something ill will come of it.
Often, those expectations are of our own making. We expect an event to go poorly, or we’re expecting a specific outcome. If we expect something to go well, there’s no anxiety.
So when it comes to entrepreneurial anxiety, we need to focus on reframing expectations-both ours and others’.
The other day I posted something on social media that said, “the inbox is the cornerstone of entrepreneurial anxiety.” As expected, there were a lot of people in agreement with that statement. The most common response was, “Yes, so I avoid it!”
I found the two-fold nature of this anxiety to be fascinating.
You see, most entrepreneurs tie the anxiety directly to their inbox. It’s the tool/space itself that makes them feel anxious. It’s an onslaught of requests, demands, promotions, and information, and we’re often dealing with it in a cluttered and disorganized jumble. Just the thought of even looking at it triggers an expectation of overwhelm, which, in turn, creates anxiety.
The expectation that dealing with it will be overwhelming is just the first layer.
Then we have to deal with the fact that beneath that general expectation we have created for ourselves, lies a list of expectations from the senders of each message.
And the longer we avoid dealing with the inbox out of the original anxiety, the scarier the expectations hidden inside of those individual messages get.
Which makes the idea of going through the inbox even more overwhelming, which means we put it off more, which compounds the expectations of those waiting in our inbox, which…you see where I’m going with this?
Inbox Avoidance vs Obsession
Our inbox is the place where everyone else’s expectations land. When we swing to either side of the spectrum, we create a new layer of expectation for ourselves on top of those individual expectations.
On the one end, we have the avoiders–they avoid the inbox until there’s an apparent dumpster fire, and then scramble to put it out. And in doing so, they usually discover other urgent or essential things that fell through the cracks, compounding the overwhelm and anxiety they’re feeling.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have the obsessed–their inbox runs their life. It’s open all of the time, and they cannot stand to see that little red bubble with a number. They are no more productive than avoiders because they are continually putting out the fires as they come up, leaving no time or focus for other important things. Their anxiety comes from the idea of not meeting other people’s expectations fast enough, as well as repeatedly failing their own expectations for projects they never make time to complete.
Both ends of the spectrum bring their distinctive flavor of anxiety when we talk about managing an inbox.
The unfortunate reality is that email is as unavoidable as death and taxes. We’re going to have to deal with it at some point. It’s a part of pretty much everyone’s lives, yet we’re never really taught how to manage it effectively.
And to make things worse, we’re now inundated with multiple inboxes. There are inboxes on nearly every social media platform, as well as school, work, and personal emails. And then there’s the inbox of project management apps and platforms like Slack. It’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed.
At any given time, we are bombarded with other people’s expectations. They show up in text messages, voice mails, DMs, and emails. With the increase in technology, we’ve opened ourselves up to being at the mercy of other people’s expectations 24/7.
It’s no wonder that anxiety and overwhelm are the status quo for any of us, but especially entrepreneurs.
The good news is that it’s up to us to begin opting out and reframing those expectations. We can revoke that access to ourselves at any time. We can set boundaries and question which expectations we allow ourselves to buy into. We can also control when and how people communicate their expectations to us and when and how we respond.
And the simplest places to start with that are our inbox and our mobile notifications. Start by unsubscribing to promotional newsletters (expectation to buy) and social media notifications (expectation to engage instantly). Then begin setting expectations on when and how you will reply. My favorite is an autoresponder in my Facebook messages directing people to email me instead. One inbox down, 183 more to go.
If you’re interested in going deeper on this topic and learning how to simplify your inbox, join my live training, the Simplified Inbox Blueprint, on July 22nd at 6 pm Central. Click here for more information.